Everyone knows I watch The Bachelor and my friend Kelli and I take this show very seriously.  We make predictions, which include charts, and I would say we are sort of experts on the show.  So, I bring you this survival guide, should you ever find yourself starring on the Bachelor.  I guarantee this will help you make it to the hometown dates!

7. Say something about your “connection” or “undeniable chemistry.”  Or how you are “soul mates” and no one has what you two have.  Because, it’s true.  Even though 5 other girls on your season were caught saying the same thing, they are mistaken.  Your connection is deeper.

6. “I’m not here to make friends.”  Because being a friendly person who gets along with people is such an unattractive quality.  Saying this should will for sure get you to the final two- just ask Courtney or Whitney.

5. a)  “All I want is to love someone/I have so much love to give!”  This is the line you pull out when you are in the limo on your way home.  Throw in some uncontrollable sobs and make sure you forgot the waterproof mascara.  Guaranteed to make people feel sorry for you and question why the Bachelor sent you home in the first place…

5. b) “Why does this always happen to me?  What’s wrong with me? Will I ever find love?”  This not only will make the Bachelor feel sorry for you and want to change his mind later, but will also make every man in America want to prove you wrong.  Or, they’ll gladly answer those questions for you…

4. “I have never met anyone quite as genuine as you/He’s such a good man/He has a good heart/I would be lucky to have him in my life.” etc.  This always works. From kind Jake Pavelka to the depth that is Ben Flajnik there has never been a Bachelor who hasn’t embodied all the characteristics of Prince Charming.  Flattery will get you every where… if that fails take him skinny dipping in Puerto Rico.  And then use line number 7.

3. “I have to tell you something/I’m ready to settle down.” You need to pull this out around week 4.  This is when the Bachelor is getting serious, and he’s not sure if he’s going to keep you.  Think back to your past, and think of the dumbest thing you have done.  It doesn’t matter how small- because it’s all in the build up.  Show him how hard it is to share your secret, but when you finally do- shed a few tears and tell him how difficult your past has been, but how easy it was to open up to him.  If he’s thinking of sending you packing- this will totally buy you another week.  There’s got to be a pool party between now and then!

2. We have a love to make the fairy tales jealous.  Thank you Jef “with 1 f” Holm. I’m pretty sure this clinched the win for him. (It was a toss up between him and Chris “I’m a grown-ass man! Bukowski) This phrase almost made me think this Bachelor couple would make it… almost! Actually this line is pretty good… take note boys!

1.  Yes.  Because do you have a choice to answer anything else to “Will you accept this rose?”

QUESTION- Who was your favourite Bachelor character?  CLICK on the SPEECH BUBBLE at the top of this post to comment!Image

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Comments
  1. Ashley says:

    Ryan! Who knew I’d stumble across my own firefighter one day! 😉

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