Archive for the ‘lifestyle’ Category

Facebook is probably the number one way people communicate now a days. “Call me” has since been replace by, “Facebook me!” and instead of asking for someone’s number, you merely ask, “Are you on Facebook?” And, it’s always exciting when someone adds you to Facebook: the instant connection you feel as you declare, “Yay, we’re Facebook friends!” is the best feeling in the world.

ID-10055791But there is a dark side to this community. Sometimes it is worse than the playground at school. If people can add friends, then they can also get rid of them.  Or in Facebook speak, “de-friend” them. I’ve gone through my list occasionally to look for someone, who I knew I had been friends with to see the dreaded “add friend+” button. Sometimes I understand; I too de-friend every once in a while. I clean up my list, getting rid of people I don’t talk to, and can’t see myself interacting with them ever again. Nothing personal, but your account is a personal thing, and the things you share are meant for your followers/friends only.

Other times though, the de-friending is hurtful and feels like a personal attack and you can’t help but ask yourself, “Did I do something?,” “Do you really not like me enough anymore?” or, “I thought we were friends…. 😦

De-friending someone, is almost as big of a deal as adding them.  So, when is it necessary to hit that “unfriend” button?  Here are seven friends you most certainly should delete.

 1. Inappropriate Friend- this is the friend who posts such scandalous things, that you are always worried to open your newsfeed with anyone around, for fear they’ll think you are perv. It’s usual pictures, sayings, and sometimes status updates of a sexual, racist, or just social unacceptable nature. I think there is a way to make sure his/her posts don’t end up in your newsfeed, but if it’s a constant thing, one starts to reevaluate that friendship. Are they a perv? A racist pig? Or just plain creepy, serial killer material? Could be de-friend worthy.

2a. TMI Friend- I don’t get this friend. Something personal and private is going on in your life and you’d like to rely on your friends for support. So why not inform all 700 of them at once? Surely, there will be an outpouring of love and support for you… or not. What do you say to someone who posts a status like, “thanks for leaving me alone and pregnant, jerk” (true story) or “just got over my bout with hemorrhoids!”?  Better to PM the 10 or so of your closest friends who truly care and will be inclined to do something for you. Remember, you have people who potentially could employ you, date you, be future family members, co workers etc on this thing. Careful what you tell the world! Too many of these posts and you end up in my de-friend pile. Lol, or on my list of people to creep when I’m bored and need a laugh…

Just got the broccoli out of my teeth- check it out!  www.freedigitalphotos.net

Just got the broccoli out of my teeth- check it out! http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

2b. Too Many Updates- going along the same vein with too much information is the person who updates their status too many times.

“Just got up, going to be a great day!” “Bagel or Toast: The great debate” *pic of me eating my toast* “Ugh, first period is dragging on forever” “I love my best friend, she’s so awesome!” “Has anyone noticed that Mr. Brown has a striking resemblance to Mr. Potato Head?” “Oh. My. Wow. Just got a wink from Sweater Vest Boy…. swoon! #Mrs.SweaterVest?” “Hey, anyone want to meet me for lunch? I’ll be sitting on the north side of the caf, you know the table beside the vending machine, the one with the Pespi, not the chips… “

And it’s only lunchtime! I often wonder if I’m going to get the play by play of every bowel movement as well. I mean, I am concern about your gastro-intestinal well being, but how could I ever keep up? By far the number one reason people de-friend is because of too many updates.

 3. Incessant Game Requests- I do have to admit this allowed me to discover the amazingness that is Candy Crush though… but a lot of people voted this as the biggest reason.

4. My life is so amazing friend- I’m all for positivity but people like this: “Just got back from an amazing vacation with my amazing family. Amazing pics to follow!” “My job is so amazing!” “My husband is so amazing! Look at the amazing roast he made today! And he did an amazing job cleaning up the house!” “My kids are amazing, they are so well behaved and amazing!” either make me feel horrible about myself, or wish something horrible would happen to him/her…. just to see if he/she would post about it. I’m all for cutting out the negativity in your life, but this over the top display of positivity, turns me into a Negative Nelly. Lol, I should start posting the opposite version of these status updates and see how people respond.

Going on that vein. Anyone who makes you feel negative, angry and upset needs to go. You don’t need that negativity/drama in your life!  

Say goodbye to those negative influences!

Say goodbye to those negative influences! http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

5. The Cryptic update friend/Needy friend- I’ve had to defriend a few over this. I’m not a counsellor or a shrink. Sure I love helping people out, but scary Emo updates and cry for help messages are beyond me and my scope of training.

6. The Preacher Friend- whether it’s politics, religion, heath debates, mommy issues- if you are posting very one sided articles and comments on the same thing over and over and over again, you’re getting the de-friend. I’m all for sharing your opinions, but in a way that creates dialogue and discussion, not judgment.  And, what better place for that then Facebook when you have so many diverse and interesting opinions and thoughts?

7a. No, “Hey how’s it going?” in over a year friend

7b. Old co-workers/people won’t talk to again/contacts you added for business at a time friends

7c. People you just aren’t friends with and don’t deserve to have that much insight into your life. Friendships grow over the years, and sometimes they come to a natural close. I’ve gotten rid of a few people who I just wasn’t friends with anymore and didn’t desire to be.

7d. The ex-boyfriend/friends/family of the ex- (including friend/families exes). Without getting ranty, Facebook is unnatural. In olden days, you would break up with someone and never talk to him or her again. You (or your friends) wouldn’t be able to keep tabs on them. It’s creepy to know what your best friend’s ex husband’s daily status is, or that your ex’s brother met up with your ex and his new girlfriend for dinner. It doesn’t allow anyone to move on at all. I even know friends who have divorced and have an amicable relationship with each other who chose not to be facebook friends, and I know that’s what’s allowed them to be good parents.  It’s called closure people.  And, as a friend/family member, it’s important that you value your family member/friend over your attachment to his/her ex and his/her family and friends.  That probably means doing a little de-friending.

I love Facebook; it’s allowed me to connect with so many people, find lost friends and make new friends. The ability for networking (as a teacher and musician) is amazing. I can post questions about anything and get such a variety of answers. I’ve been able to keep in touch with students, campers, and old friends from elementary school. The important thing to remember is this, “Social media is a relational tool, but it’s not a relational reality.”* Knowing that can keep your Facebook list in check, and keep you from being de-friended!

So, who have you de-friended?  Or, who has de-friended you?  Comment at the Speech Bubble at the top of the post!

 *http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/i-just-unfriended-my-friend/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.9Jo173dH.dpuf

Still catching up- this is this past weeks post!

The summer is a natural time to reflect, and this month (August) has caused me to think and be challenged.  From watching the Bachelorette, to seeing love in action and a love so pure at two different weddings, to kayaking on the lake & sitting on the dock, to amazing just-because gifts, to new adventures, miscommunications with friends, acting silly (in both the fun and where- is –my- brain sense), and studying God’s word- I’ve learned a lot and been challenged by a lot.

I’m usually pretty candid in my posts, but I’m not overly personal with my experiences.  So this one is a little more honest, but I’m not going to go into too many details.  I’m sharing to hopefully challenge you as well, and a girls gotta keep some secrets!  😉

So, Seven Things I’ve Realized this August (LOL Life Lessons with Ms. B if you will)

One of the many people I'm blessed to have in my life

One of the many people I’m blessed to have in my life

1. I am so blessed to have such amazing friends and family.  I look at the key people in my life and I’m amazed at genuine, kind, caring, and honest people in my life.  These people I love immensely, and astonishing enough, they love me just as dearly.  Which amazes me, because I can be a handful.  There are too many people to name, and although I’ve spent time with a lot of them over the past few weeks, there are many more.  Thanks for putting up with me and making me feel loved.  I was also blessed to receive the kindest, most thoughtful and generous gift from a very special person.  It wasn’t just the gift (which is awesome by the way), but the symbolism behind it.  It’s hard living on your own sometimes, especially when you see all your friends getting married, and this person just got that.  Thank you.

Taking out the Trash freedigitalphotos.net

Taking out the Trash freedigitalphotos.net

2. Don’t Rationalize the Garbage in your Life- Get Rid of it!  Whether it’s a behaviour you have, how you interact/converse with someone, how you spend your time, your language, your attitude, whatever- don’t make excuses for it- just cleanse it from your life.  How often do we “explain” our behaviours and justify why we are doing something.  It’s crap.  Literally.  It doesn’t matter why you are doing it, or why your attitude is so trash.  It stinks and it needs to be kicked to the curb.  And, while you’re at it, delete a few facebook friends that suck, or cause you to suck as a person.  You’ll be amazed at how “sweet” your life is after.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is novle, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things 

Just call them up!  freedigitalphotos.com

Just call them up! freedigitalphotos.com

3. Communication is Key- How many times do I need to learn this lesson?  In all that you do, in all your interactions with people, it’s better just to communicate with them.  Otherwise, things just become a bigger issue than they need to be.  Honesty is always good, especially when things are hard and awkward.  I had a situation with a friend that I avoided for a while, and it was hilarious when we finally talked- all I could think about was, “why didn’t I do that from the beginning?”  It’s better for a moment or two of weirdness than a few weeks of awkward misreadings and misinterpretations.  I know, a lesson I should have learned in grade school- I’m still learning!

 

 

4. You’re not Awesome… yet!  I’ve been reading a book of Proverbs a day; it seemed like a good, practical book to talk some sense into me, and the last few days the idea of correction or discipline has come up.  This is a topic people don’t like, because we don’t like to change.  We have this, “love me as I am” or “I’m awesome” attitude which is bologna.  As humans, we aren’t awesome, we don’t have it all figured out.  There is always something we can learn, something we can change in our life to make us a better person.  We never achieve perfection: we can only strive for excellence.  For me, that excellence is found in Christ and his example, and I am far from perfection.  I like that I have friends who are honest with me and are willing to say, “I don’t like that answer,” or “you are being really dumb right now,” because that’s what friends do.  They challenge you to be the best you can be, and encourage you to grow in your relationship with Christ/your life.  When I looked up the words “discipline” and “correction” in the thesaurus the words, “education, development and improvement” all came up. I believe that in life we need to be educated, developed and improved through our relationships, our God, our life experiences and that’s a learning that is life long.  “If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”  Proverbs 15:32 (NLT)

5. Love is More Than a Feeling- I’m reminded of that old DC Talk song “Luv is a Verb.”  Love is something you do, and not something you feel and I think society has confused this severely.  We think that if we feel love toward a person then we show love to them, and if our feelings change, then our actions are justified in changing as well.  People that is called ‘conditional love,’ meaning that you will love someone under the condition that you “feel like you love them.”  That’s crap- who wants that?  I have yet to hear someone say, “I can’t wait to find a partner who loves me conditionally…”  Love is a CHOICE. It’s something you choose to do, something you make a conscious effort to do.  Your feelings will change, because we are humans- and if you are like me, pathetically fickle! Make fun of my Bachelorette watching all you want, but I was impressed with Des’ choice.  Long story short, she had this mad “love feelings” for Brooks, but Chris was solid and true through the whole process.  A lot of people said she “settled” for him, but I think she made the right choice.  She looked at him and saw all the amazing qualities he had and, yes their love wasn’t this passionate, burning flame from the beginning, it was a slow and steady build and she CHOSE him.  And for that, I think they might have a chance.  Not to go on too much of a tangent, but what I would have picked in a partner when I was 20, is completely different from what I would pick now.  When I was 20, I was wrapped up in the emotions, in the twinkle dust if you will, where as now I know what I need in a partner and what God wants for me. Although I do think you need to feel a spark, I think love that lasts is love that is a daily choice and decision.  That’s commitment people.

Love is Patient

Love is Patient

6. Love is best when it’s pure and patient and led by God.  A couple of things reminded me of this.  My “big little sister” (she’s a girl who I used to babysit who is now way wiser than I!) got married and I am so happy for this union.  Here’s a couple who first of all loves God, and who have earnestly sought him out in their relationship.  The world would look at their relationship as weird; the physical aspect of their relationship didn’t develop pretty much at all until they were engaged, like not even kissing.  But, in talking with her about their relationship when it was developing, the peace she had about this budding romance was amazing.  The time they could have spent making out, they spent truly getting to know each other.  Dating for them was relaxed and natural- not stressful at all.  They were both waiting on God to see where He was leading them and I think that’s how it should be. Things may have moved slower than what society deemed as normal, but it was so clear on their wedding day that this is a special marriage that is true and pure.  It was one of those days that made my heart happy and hopeful.  A few days earlier, I was reminded of the verse in Song of Songs 2:7, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”  I’m bad at that; being patient is hard.  But I truly believe that when love is pure and led by God, love awakens at just the right time.

Peacefully Paddling

Peacefully Paddling

7. I’m in a Kayak- I’m at a place in my life where I really don’t know what ahead.  I’m in for an exciting new adventure with a new job, and a new city, but there are so many things in my life that are unknown.  But, I cannot tell you the peace that I have felt, even in these last few weeks about that.  I may not know my future, but I know who holds my future and that’s very comforting.  My life, especially lately has been a struggle with God for the driver’s seat.  I like to know what’s going to happen, where we are going. A friend told me this analogy when it comes to the dynamic between you and God and control of your life.  He probably articulated it way better, but there are three vessels you can be in when it comes to your relationship with God. First, a motorboat- fast, and you do all the driving, you know where you’re going and you stop at nothing to get there.  It’s all about you and the work you are doing and God’s not in it.  Second, you can be in a raft, where you lay there and “see where the wind takes you.”  You let God do all the leading and all the work.  This is a weinery approach to life and contrary to everything God would want (the amount of times I’ve seen ‘hard work’ in Proverbs these last few days…).  It’s lazy and no way to live.  Finally, you can be in a sailboat, or for my analogy a kayak.  You are working hard, (do I seriously have muscles there?), and there are times where the end seems so far, times when you don’t think you’re little arms will get you there, but you are working at moving that boat.  You can see in the distance the general area you are going to, but God won’t reveal the exact location or even more directions for the journey until you are a lot closer.  All you need to know is, head toward that bay over there. Things get clearer the closer you get.  You just have to trust and keep paddling.  Normally that would be scary, but for some reason I’m happy paddling and something about being on the water brings me peace.

So there you go- what I’ve learned this August.  I’m sure I’ll learn a lot more- there are still weeks ahead!  It’s long, but it’s been a challenging (but good!) month, and I wanted to share.

CLICK on the SPEECH BUBBLE at the top of this post and share some life lessons you’ve been learning!

Love Em

I love Old Hollywood.  The movies seem more carefree, more clever, and more romantic.  They sure don’t make films like those anymore!  My friend Julie and I were watching Teacher’s Pet with Clarke Gable and Doris Day recently, and this blog post popped into my mind.  Not only do they no make movies like Old Hollywood anymore, it  seems like the attractive qualities of those leading men have fallen by the wayside as of late.

Julie and I would like to bring back the “Old Hollywood Man,”  Or at least have guys take a few notes from Old Hollywood’s Most Attractive Men….

I picked 7 (I know they are way more!) gents that demonstrate very attractive traits that most guys don’t posses anymore, but should!  There were far more than 7 options, so I’m hoping for some great feedback from you!

THE PERFECT MAN 

Paul Newman

Paul Newman

 

Paul Newmon

Paul NewmonThe Perfect Man (Old Hollywood Style)

The perfect man would posses:

 1. Paul Newman’s looks- This man is the definition of dreamy.  From his sultry lips, his lean, toned body, and his blue, blue eyes, this man has the ability to make any lady swoon.

2. Howard Keels Boldness-  There is nothing more attractive than a man who goes after what he wants- especially when it comes to a lady.  Today’s society has created this passive, “sensitive” type of guy who, let’s face it, is wimpy!  What girl wants to convince a guy to date her- it’s so much better to be persued!  Now, Adam Pontipee may be a little barbaric with his “bless her beautiful hide” business, but it is attractive all the same!

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

3. Gene Kelly’s Moves- Every girl wants a guy who can sweep her off her feet, and I don’t think there’s anyone who can do it quite like Gene Kelly.  He makes

Shall we dance?

Shall we dance?

dancing look so athletic, so manly,  and dude, he can tap dance on roller skates!  (I love this clip because it’s so refined and show’s off Gabey shy character as he’s trying to win Miss Turnstyles)

Franky the Crooner

Franky the Crooner

4. Frank Sinatra’s Voice- The perfect man should have a crooners voice and Frank is just the man.  There’s something sensitive and gentle about his voice, and we all know a man who can sing goes up about 10 points in the attractive category!    (I just watched On the Town- so that’s why there’s another clip from it. )

Funny Guy Jerry Lewis

Funny Guy Jerry Lewis

5. Jerry Lewis humour- Let’s face it- there is nothing better than a guy who can make you laugh!  This clip is from one of my favourite movies, Cinderfella and it makes me wish Jerry was my fella!

The King of Cool- Steve McQueen

The King of Cool- Steve McQueen

6. Steve McQueen’s cool- There is something about Steve McQueen that is so sexy.  It’s his strong, yet cool, self that looks really good on a motorcycle and always seems to save the day. 

7. William Holden’s confidence- I don’t know what it is about

William goes after Audrey

William goes after Audrey

William, but whenever he’s on screen, he just commands attention.  He doesn’t need to talk, he just has this suave, self-assured nature about him.  Yes, he usually plays the cynical and sometimes playboy-like characters, but his versatility shines through and he always oozes confidence. 


So boys, do something that guys don’t do anymore.  Dance in the rain, sing her a song, or a even just learn a line from a movie!  Google it!

CLICK THE SPEECH BUBBLE- which old hollywood star or characteristics do you find attractive?

So, I don’t know about you, but I always seem to be insanely busy!  Life gets crazy and it seems like I put myself on hold, struggling to get through the tasks of the day.  This is no way to live!  Just surviving is something they do on LOST (although how the girls never grow leg hair I’ll never know… ).

I have vowed to make 7 quick “enhancements” to my life.  They take very time or money or even effort, and although simple and cheesy, I’m hopeful they’ll make a positive impact.

7.  Drink More Water- H2O has been praised for its abilities to cleanse and to hydrate, to flush away toxins and keep your skin glowing and your breath from stinking.  (See http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/6-reasons-to-drink-water) I vow to drink more of this substance.  I bring a water bottle to school and I’m going to add Crystal Light or a tiny bit of juice to the container after lunch to ensure I finish the second bottle by the end of the work day.

www.digitalphotos.net 6.  Up Your Oral Hygiene- I made fun of this, my sister’s new year’s resolution, but when I thought about it, it makes sense.  We all could probably do better with our teeth!  Up the anty!

Brush for two minutes?  Now add floss and alcohol free mouthwash to your routine.  It takes mere seconds, but the results are sparkly, smooth chompers!

5. Moisturize.  Does anyone else feel like winter has sucked all the good stuff out of their skin?  I want my skin to glow and feel like “ah…” This fix takes less than a minute when you step out of the shower!  I always forget this step and I have the most amazing Clinique body butter…

4.  Stretch While Catching up on TV.  I love watching mindless TV after a long day- the thought of moving off the couch and doing anything but stare at a screen seems overwhelming some days!  But, it has taken a toll on my body- I’m not nearly as flexible as I used to be, and my body gets tight so easily.  So- since I have no extra time, I vow to do yoga and stretches while watching TV!

3.  Memorize Something Inspirational.  Words have the ability to build a you up or to tear you down, so I’m going to try to memorize passages that encourage and build me up.  This not only will challenge my mind and keep it busy on those long drives, but will life me up and help me remain in Him.  I think I’ll start with James…

2. Do One Fun Thing Everyday.  One of my favourite people and I have this thing where we challenge each other to do just this.  Often as humans we get caught up in planning an adventure, and it becomes a reward for when busy-ness stops.  But it never stops, people!  Start having little adventures and laugh each and every day!  Whether it’s messaging a friend in Pig Latin, going skydiver, or wearing fun underwear- there is probably something you could do to make your more than ho-hum.

1. Smile More. There are a million (well maybe about 10) reasons why smiling is good for you!    This is what I need to do way more of.  It’s funny (well actually sad…)  if you have known me for a long time, you would know how positive and encouraging I was.  I smiled all the time and oozed fun and positivity.  Lol, but life has made me cynical over the years… and I wonder if the negativity and complaining has take over…

Hmm… I’m wondering if all these things will bring back the fun, happy, and energetic Emily…  I hope so!

So there you have it- a few practical things to do to enhance your day and make it way more fun!

HOW do you ENHANCE YOUR DAY?  CLICK on the SPEECH BUBBLE at the top of this post to share your answer!