Posts Tagged ‘Clinique’

After almost a year hiatus, Em’s Top 7 is back in operation! The past year has been crazy, in a good way, but super busy. I set out to write a top 7 for my friends going off to university/college and I never quite finished, so once I missed that week- it was all downhill from there! Stay tuned as I’m going to finish that post soon and have a few other back to school ones on the go!

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Today, I hung out with two of my girlfriends. We took a random road trip to try a find a decent restaurant that is actually open on a Monday, and thankfully our summer brains were on and teacher talk did not take over. The three of us are single and in our 30s and the conversation turned to an interesting subject.

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Now, this post is meant to shed some light into what it’s like to be a single girl whether by choice or by circumstance. It’s not meant to create an “us vs. them” divide, this is completely meant to offer some insight and clear up some misconceptions of what it is like to be a woman on her own, because a life without a partner is not without it’s struggles.

I believe that God has all of us, single or not, in the right place at the time. I believe that whether you are married or not, a parent or not, you can be completely satisfied and have a full understanding about life and what it has to offer. No matter where you are, no matter what your life circumstance is, there are going to be challenges. It is so important to be someone who is in tune with what is going on in your friend/family members’ lives, because we all struggle in different ways and need support and love in whatever those circumstances are. So, hopefully this post will be a reminder of that.

That being said- if you know me, you know that even when I’m serious, I usually say things with a bit of humour, so keep that in mind…

So with that long preamble- I present to you, “Seven Phrases Every Single Gal Is Dying NOT to Hear.”

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Myth #1- Single Gals are rolling in the dough…

1. “It must be nice to have such a disposable income.” We don’t know where this one comes from, because even though we have decent jobs, we never seem to have any extra money. Think about it. As a single person, you still have to make full payments for rent/mortgage, a car, insurance- all on one salary. Not to mention trying to pay off student loans and any other crazy unknown expenses that come up. At the rate I’m going, I’m looking to have my schooling paid back by the time I’m 37- if I stick to a strict budget. Now, that being said, my debit card does get a decent workout at both the Clinique counter and Victoria Secret, and I do get my hair done regularly but I figure those purchases really are necessities on the quest to land a man.

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You just sent me what?!

2. “Have you tried online dating?” I have very limited commentary for this one. People usually offer this not as a piece of advice, but as a solution to the problem. Most single women would concur that getting married is more than a box to be checked, and not a problem to be solved. And sure, online dating is a good way to meet single guys, especially if your circles have dried up of prospects. But, online dating sucks. Sure, there may be a gem of a guy on there somewhere- but it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Some people strike gold right away, while others have to deal with the many men (or boys) who are usually separated from their wives, socially inept, or seriously perverted. And that’s just on the Christian sites… That could be a whole blog post in itself. And usually the response to the lack of viable options online is another favourite phrase, “Maybe you’re being too picky…”

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I have to schedule time in to shave my legs?!

3. “Being single is less responsibility…” Another misconception about being a single person is the hours of time we must seem to have on our hands. Think about it. Groceries still need to be bought, laundry to be done, all the bills to pay, the grass to cut, waiting for the repair guy to show up, taking the car in to be fixed, the house to be cleaned, dinner to be cooked, etc. Think of all the jobs that have to be done in life and as a single person, you are responsible for them all. There is no one to ask to pick up a few things on their way home for you, or someone to sort the recycling when you are busy. There is a reason why a marriage is considered a partnership. Why do you think single people love takeout/frozen dinners so much? (Lol- and why do you think I’m having Cheerios for dinner? Awesome, yes. But I would rather have the energy/company to make something way more fabulous.)

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Married club= Singles not welcome

4. “You’ll understand when you’re married.” Without going into a rant about this one, this is the most frustrating statement a single person can hear. Especially when they are past their late 20s. What if I never get married? Will I never understand? Will I never be fulfilled? When I get married does the world suddenly make sense and have meaning? This statement sucks. I have been on the receiving end of this, and even though the intention is not mean-spirited, the feeling of not being a part of a group or not being a fully formed human being is.

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Hmm.. budget allows for a road trip to “Akron, Ohio”- anyone?

5. “You must travel all the time!” Three things that make this untrue. Firstly, people don’t want to travel with you. And, well in theory it sounds great to travel alone and go where the wind takes you, part of the fun of a vacation is sharing it with someone. Most of my friends are married or have kids and will not travel, some even for a weekend. Secondly, have you ever seen how expensive it is to travel as a single? Often it’s double the cost of what it costs a couple. And, travelling with someone is an intimate experience- you have to choose a travelling companion wisely. Sure, you may save a chunk of cash, but you may be giving up your sanity at the same time…. And thirdly- see point number 1.

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There is a reason he’s still single…

6. “Wait… I THINK I know a single guy….” As if being single is the only criteria one has for finding a man. Yes, the number of single guys is dwindling, but hopefully standards aren’t dwindling also! Again, see the online dating rant about checking a box. That being said, if you know someone who is single and who your single friend would get along with, please introduce them!

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I’m aaaaall aloneeeee… all by myseeeelf…

7. “I won’t be able to make it; I need to spend time with my husband/We have to __________.” Ok. I get this. I really do. Marriages take work and there are times where you need to make time to be with your husband/family. That being said I cannot tell you how incredibly lonely it is and how pathetic one feels when you have everyone cancel on you or not be free to do something because of this reason. While you are out at a family BBQ or cozy-ing up to your man, the poor single girl is opening a can of tuna and bottle of wine alone.

And, since it’s been so long (and I have one more) here’s number 8.
8. “Just be patient. You’ll find him. God will bring him into your life at the right time…” This may be a true statement (or maybe not). But, honestly this is THE WORST thing you can say to someone who is single. Why? Because it implies that you haven’t been patient, you aren’t fully ready to be in a relationship, that there is something wrong with you that needs to be sorted out before you are “blessed” with a mate. And, when someone much younger than you (and usually married) says this (and usually shares the story about how they waited so long and the man of their dreams just appeared) it honestly makes the single person want to either crawl into a hole and die or punch the advice giver in the face. Just be a good friend. Being a friend means listening to your friend’s struggles and just being there for that person. Throwing a blanket statement out there and assuming you know how that person feels isn’t being a good friend. Take them out for coffee, include them on your wild family adventures- make an effort to check in with them.

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So thankful for the handful of amazing friends I have!

To sum up: Being single is not all fun and games as it appears, but single people are usually pretty content with their lives. Yes, most single people would love to be un-single but, only if that means being with someone who is going to make their lives better. Single people want to be remembered and loved by their married friends because we love and remember you too! (And I am so thankful for the ones who go out of their way to include/love me!)

COMMENT IN THE SPEECH BUBBLE ABOVE! SINGLE PEOPLE- did I miss anything? MARRIED PEOPLE- what do you think?

So… a Vlog was more work than it was worth- Sorry this is late!

Sort of a random post… but I hope it’s at least somewhat entertaining!

Lol- for those who are entertained by my silliness!

So, I don’t know about you, but I always seem to be insanely busy!  Life gets crazy and it seems like I put myself on hold, struggling to get through the tasks of the day.  This is no way to live!  Just surviving is something they do on LOST (although how the girls never grow leg hair I’ll never know… ).

I have vowed to make 7 quick “enhancements” to my life.  They take very time or money or even effort, and although simple and cheesy, I’m hopeful they’ll make a positive impact.

7.  Drink More Water- H2O has been praised for its abilities to cleanse and to hydrate, to flush away toxins and keep your skin glowing and your breath from stinking.  (See http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/6-reasons-to-drink-water) I vow to drink more of this substance.  I bring a water bottle to school and I’m going to add Crystal Light or a tiny bit of juice to the container after lunch to ensure I finish the second bottle by the end of the work day.

www.digitalphotos.net 6.  Up Your Oral Hygiene- I made fun of this, my sister’s new year’s resolution, but when I thought about it, it makes sense.  We all could probably do better with our teeth!  Up the anty!

Brush for two minutes?  Now add floss and alcohol free mouthwash to your routine.  It takes mere seconds, but the results are sparkly, smooth chompers!

5. Moisturize.  Does anyone else feel like winter has sucked all the good stuff out of their skin?  I want my skin to glow and feel like “ah…” This fix takes less than a minute when you step out of the shower!  I always forget this step and I have the most amazing Clinique body butter…

4.  Stretch While Catching up on TV.  I love watching mindless TV after a long day- the thought of moving off the couch and doing anything but stare at a screen seems overwhelming some days!  But, it has taken a toll on my body- I’m not nearly as flexible as I used to be, and my body gets tight so easily.  So- since I have no extra time, I vow to do yoga and stretches while watching TV!

3.  Memorize Something Inspirational.  Words have the ability to build a you up or to tear you down, so I’m going to try to memorize passages that encourage and build me up.  This not only will challenge my mind and keep it busy on those long drives, but will life me up and help me remain in Him.  I think I’ll start with James…

2. Do One Fun Thing Everyday.  One of my favourite people and I have this thing where we challenge each other to do just this.  Often as humans we get caught up in planning an adventure, and it becomes a reward for when busy-ness stops.  But it never stops, people!  Start having little adventures and laugh each and every day!  Whether it’s messaging a friend in Pig Latin, going skydiver, or wearing fun underwear- there is probably something you could do to make your more than ho-hum.

1. Smile More. There are a million (well maybe about 10) reasons why smiling is good for you!    This is what I need to do way more of.  It’s funny (well actually sad…)  if you have known me for a long time, you would know how positive and encouraging I was.  I smiled all the time and oozed fun and positivity.  Lol, but life has made me cynical over the years… and I wonder if the negativity and complaining has take over…

Hmm… I’m wondering if all these things will bring back the fun, happy, and energetic Emily…  I hope so!

So there you have it- a few practical things to do to enhance your day and make it way more fun!

HOW do you ENHANCE YOUR DAY?  CLICK on the SPEECH BUBBLE at the top of this post to share your answer!